


looking in on the good life

by GlitterDwarf



Series: new slang [2]
Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Post-Break Up, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 23:31:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6928849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterDwarf/pseuds/GlitterDwarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Hendricks family invites Jared back over to their house for Thanksgiving. They don't realize that Jared and Richard have broken up. That's nothing that an over-involved, meddling family can't fix. Sequel to "like the kind of the eyesores"</p>
            </blockquote>





	looking in on the good life

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I finally wrote this sequel a year later! I had been wanting to get something done, but I didn't have the right inspiration until ten-bobcats sent me [this](http://glitterdwarf.tumblr.com/post/143589844803/i-still-think-about-your-king-of-the-eyesores-fic) message and everything clicked into place.
> 
> Today is also my birthday, so in the best Hobbit-like fashion I dedicate this to everyone who follows me on Tumblr and has been so encouraging and loving the past year we've been in this fandom together. You've given me a lot of strength when I needed it, and I love you all forever and ever amen.
> 
> CW: Depressed self-dialogue, vaguest mention of suicidal thoughts, internalized homophobia

The muggy, bright Northern California summer turned to fall, and with that came the rains, the grey skies, and the wind. It was the time of year where the air smelled different, which used to be his favorite thing about autumn. He could remember being a young kid and talking a walk with his siblings to the library, lifting his nose into the air to smell the crispness, the change, and trying to find the word to match it. Autumn was also nice because he no longer looked out of place in his ubiquitous hoodies, was no longer the only one with fists pushed deep into pockets. But Northern California was different; the wind and the rain didn’t feel dreamy, they were just dreary, oppressive, and aggressive. Normally it was enough to make him want to pack a bag and go south for the winter, leave Silicon Valley for Silicon Beach. Normally. This year, Richard didn’t mind the weather, because it matched his mood, and it matched his life. Who else but a piece of shit like him could have someone like Jared for only a month before fucking it up forever.

•••

Sometimes, the most innocuous of packages can hold the most horrifying, gut-wrenching, life-ruining things. For Richard, those things were Tinder, improperly-prepared dishes with goat cheese, and C++.

And, now, this envelope, hand-lettered and addressed to “Richie and Jared”. _Fuck_.

He knew he was forgetting to tell his family something.

(Okay, well, “forgetting” was a strong and misleading word. The truth is that he was embarrassed, humiliated even, and didn’t want to let his family know how badly he had fucked up. After all, the last things they all said to Richard were to not let Jared get away and he shouldn’t have, _he shouldn’t have_ , but there was nothing he could do about it now.)

Richard almost didn’t hear Erlich’s teasing voice as he surveyed the card because his heart was pounding too fast in his own ears.

“I wasn’t sure if this was a prank delivered by one of my myriad of enemies, but it looks like it’s from your parents.” Erlich scoffed, but it was half-hearted; he hadn’t been able to come up with much venom against Jared lately, especially since That Night. “That virgin Frankenstein’s bride must have really acted his balls off to win over your parents.”

Richard made a vague noise that he hoped signaled “sure, yeah” but was likely more akin to “I don’t know what I’m agreeing to.”

“Frankenstein’s _monster’s_ bride,” Richard mumbled. Apparently even only half-listening he could still be his asshole know-it-all self. “It’s a common misconception that–“

Erlich was already gone. He had left the invitation on the table and walked away.

Richard tapped his feet against the ground nervously. He shifted, looked left and right, over his shoulders. Nobody around, except for the muffled sound of other incubees playing foosball. Finally, he snatched the invitation and ripped it open with shaky hands. Inside was a glittery invitation to spend Thanksgiving with the Hendricks along with plane tickets there and back. Family was invited to stay at the house from Wednesday to Sunday. There was an extra note attached to the card, saying “if you don’t bring that delightful Jared guy we’re disowning you.”

Richard frowned and let the invitation drop to the ground. He pulled out his cell phone and sent a quick text to his sister Bobbie.

 **From: Richie**  
Jared and I broke up.

Almost immediately he got a response back.

 **From: Bobbie**  
What the fuck? When?

 **From: Richie**  
Uh…three months ago.

Richard shouldn’t have been surprised when his phone started ringing.

“H-hello?”

“Richie you dumb fuck, what the fucking shit hell Jesus weeps fuck did you do?”

Richard made vague noises that were probably syllables, got up and rushed into the backyard, which was empty. Despite this he still whispered when he spoke to her.

“Look, can you stop yelling? None of the guys I live with know about what happened this summer.”

“What? Why the fuck not? Is that why he broke up with you?”

Richard was silent for too many beats too long, and Bobbie snorted.

“What, do they not know you’re bi?”

Silence again.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Richie,” she said though clenched teeth. “I thought California was supposed to be all liberal and safe. You’re next to San Francisco!”

“I know, but like,” Richard started, still whispering. “It’s just that it’s mostly dudes out here, and I don’t know, they probably don’t want to work with a guy who is like that. A lot of them could beat me up. And it was bad enough when I was some anonymous programmer but now, like, if the press knew about it? Fuck, I’m struggling to keep Pied Piper going as it is, can you imagine the press coverage? What the blogs would say? What the investors would do?”

“That is…honestly…the worst excuse I’ve ever heard. Are you kidding me? You’re afraid of what the _bloggers_ would say? You’re willing to give up your own happiness and sense of self because some assholes on the internet _might_ not like it?”

Richard was silent. “Well, when you put it that way…”

“Look, just invite him. If he says no, give me his number and I’ll get Mom to convince him. But we’re going to fix this.”

“We?”

“Just trust me.”

He didn't.

•••

Because Richard remembered in startling clarity when Jared finally broke it off. He hadn’t been a very good secret boyfriend for the brief weeks that they had. In truth, he’s pretty sure that he’d never been a good boyfriend, ever. He gets too nervous, he wouldn’t be very affectionate in public even if he was with a woman, and he’s not good at taking care of people or being present for somebody emotionally. He’s pretty much a useless, selfish fuck, really, and it’s no wonder that he’s 27 and the longest relationship he had was still four months with some girl in high school.

The sad thing is that his one month with Jared was better than anything he had ever experienced. Everywhere Richard _isn’t_ Jared _is_. He was attentive, always has been and always will be regardless of if they’re in a relationship or not. He’s selfless, he’s affectionate, and he’s stronger than you would think.

Strong enough to finally call Richard on his bullshit, that is.

They had been out with everyone at a bar, celebrating one full week without disaster (sad that this was cause for celebration, but there you have it). As always, the guys had been teasing Jared, coming up with even more specific and bizarre things to call him as the night wore on. Jared was a good sport about it, of course, and he even added a few mean nicknames for himself into the conversation, which made everybody laugh. It was fine, normal, and everybody got a turn (we don’t speak of the time Richard tried to grow a mustache and the jokes that ensued). In the past, before their trip, Richard never added to this kind of ribbing–it was kind of like making fun of a puppy for being small and pathetic–but it didn’t really get to him before because, again, it was normal. But that night for some reason he couldn’t take it, couldn’t stand how specific and mean some people were to Jared. He thought about the way his mind worked with business, his endless kindness, the way he would smile at Richard post-orgasm, and Richard snapped.

“Stop it,” he said, way too loud for the small space. The booth went quiet and everyone stared for a good thirty seconds before Gilfoyle broke the silence with “the fuck?” 

“Look, we get it, it’s Jared, he’s skinny and pathetic and ghost-like, ha ha. The joke’s old. New topic, this is just lame,” Richard babbled. When he looked for it, Jared’s face looked weird. Richard wasn’t sure what he _expected_ it to look like–thankful, maybe? Happy? Relieved–but instead he just looked tight and drawn.

“Richard, it’s fine,” he said tersely, definitely angry. Now it was Jared’s turn to be stared at. 

“I think they’re going to break up,” Dinesh whispered too-loudly in Gilfoyle’s direction. Richard didn’t handle this well at all, whole body turning hot.

“We _aren’t_ – that’s– I would never…” He trailed off. Everyone looked deeply uncomfortable. Everyone except for Jared, who looked angrier than Richard had ever seen him.

“Richard, I believe we both need to use the bathroom,” Jared said before shoving back from the table and heading to the men’s restroom. What could he do? Richard followed him. 

Richard did a quick check when they were in there to look for other people. Once it was verified that they were alone, he turned to look at Jared. He still looked angry, but now his eyes were red and wet-looking. 

“I’m breaking up with you. Officially. Effective immediately.”

Richard blinked, stunned and silenced. Finally, he croaked out a desperate and pathetic-sounding, “because I stood up for you?” Jared’s responding laugh sounded hollow, almost sarcastic. 

“You weren’t standing up for _me,_ Richard. You were embarrassed. I embarrass you.”

“That’s not true!” Richard was too loud, and getting actually and Legit Angry, but he couldn’t help it.

“No, Richard, it is. If you weren’t embarrassed then you would tell people we’re a couple.”

“We’ve been over this, Jared. It would just be really bad press, I can’t risk it."

“That isn’t…look, I get it. Trust me, after working for Gavin Belson for so long I _get it_. But what bothers me isn’t that you aren’t out  _publicly,_ it’s that you can’t even tell our friends.”

Richard swallowed hard, because that was fair. He had asked himself the question a lot, actually, of why he couldn’t even tell the guys. It wasn’t that he was afraid of being made fun of because, again, that was normal and inevitable. He just…who knows? After a beat, Jared continued.

“This is more than just being afraid of coming out. I feel like when you look at me you’re just seeing some version of me you’ve made up in your brain, like I’m Jared-the-pathetic-princess-who-needs-rescuing, or Jared-the-poor-abused-kid, or Jared-the-nice-but-weird-guy-who-can’t-stand-up-for-himself. But none of that is true, it’s not, and I…” He paused here and looked away. “I don’t know, maybe I do the same thing to you. Maybe I make you into this great and brilliant mind who just wants good things in the world and I ignore all the red flags. And maybe it’s just…not fair to each other. If we’re going to fall in love and be in a relationship it should be with someone who is real and not the people we want the other one to be.” 

And fuck, how do you even respond to that? Richard just choked back tears and nodded, stuffed his hands in his hoodie pockets and pretended like the room wasn’t spinning. Wildly and without reason he suddenly wanted nothing more than to be in Jared’s arms, kissing him, even just hold his hand once more. But that was done, over, and it was all Richard’s fault.

After awhile, Jared spoke again. “I’ll go tell the guys I’m going home. I’ll see you at work on Monday, Richard.”

And that was that.

•••

As it turned out, Jared didn’t need a whole lot of convincing. That isn’t to say that he appeared very excited at the idea of going to Thanksgiving with his ex’s family, but he also didn’t put up much of a fight. Jared turned the envelope over in his hands repeatedly, sometimes brushing his thumb over where their names were written down. He didn’t ask questions, didn’t ask if Richard’s family knew they had broken up. The evidence of what a chickenshit loser Richard was was currently in Jared’s hands, emblazoned in ink.

“Well,” he finally said after Richard just stood there silently like a jackass for a few minutes. “It isn’t as if I have anywhere else to go. Please send your parents my fondest regards and thank them for the invitation.”

And that was that.

•••

 ”How was your flight?” Richard’s dad asked as he helped carry their luggage up to Richard’s room. Richard had spent awhile in the weeks leading up to the trip and on the plane itself trying to prepare himself for what it would be like to have this trip. Faced with the actuality of it, though, was something else entirely. As far as he knew nobody in his family save for Bobbie knew that Jared and Richard had broken up, which meant the arrangements were…different than last time. Unlike last time, there was no air mattress as the assumption was that they would be sharing the bed.

Richard has thought about how weird it would be to be in the room with your ex where you had first kissed, first had sex, first done, well, everything, but he hadn’t anticipated how much weirder things would be that were _different_.

Jared kept smiling politely and made small talk in that easy, corporate way he had. After what felt like an eternity in which Richard just absentmindedly picked at frayed strands on his old comforter his dad finally left with a sing-songy, “well, I’ll leave you boys to get settled.”

And then it was just the two of them. Richard had thought they reached peak awkward levels on the long, silent plane ride next to each other, but it was nothing compared to the palpable awkwardness of being alone. In his childhood bedroom. Where they had first done…everything.

Jared finally coughed, then his face shifted. He went from the face he had been showing Richard in private–openly hurt, annoyed, angry, and tired in turns–to the faux-bright, cheerful and professional face.

“Well, if it’s alright, I think I’ll take my leave. I would like to say hello to everyone, and then perhaps read a novel in the backyard. Your mom told me the flowers I helped her plant are coming in nicely, and I would like to check on them.”

“Um, sure,” Richard mumbled. It was weird. It was fucking _weird_. He looked at his own shoes while Jared rustled in his messenger bag, and then he was out of the room. That’s when Richard rediscovered what he had been dealing with for the past few months: the lack of Jared where he should be was an even heavier weight than anything else.

•••

The first ones to find Richard face down on the floor were his nephews, Aidan and Cody. Thankfully, Bobbie walked in before they could finish the task of slowly dragging Richard out of the room by his feet.

“Boys! Hey!” Bobbie’s voice sliced through the air, making her sons freeze. “Get off your uncle!”

They both started screeching and then ran away, out the door and down the stairs. Bobbie sighed, closed Richard’s door, and came to lay down next to him. She cradled her head in her folded arms and sighed.

“So you didn’t tell anyone?”

“No,” Bobbie answered. “I didn’t. I was kind of hoping that you would fix things before you got here.”

“I guess dealing with reality isn’t really a Hendricks strong suit.”

Bobbie chuckled softly, then reached out and ran her hands through Richard’s hair. It was getting long; he hadn’t been taking care of it, or anything personally for a few months. Thankfully everyone interpreted it as a result of the stress of Pied Piper, so he didn’t have to explain to anyone _nope just slowly dying inside because I think I lost The One because I'm too afraid to be honest or good and I don’t deserve him anyway so what’s the point in cutting my hair._

Bobbie sighed again, took her hand back and wiped it off on the carpet. “You look like a homeless Muppet.”

 Richard smiled, then groaned. “I fucked up real bad, Bobbie.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “You do that a lot. But you know what’s great about you, Richie? Is that you always try to fix it. Most people don’t; they just give up. But you never stop trying. That’s why you’re such a good programmer. It’s why you have these great tech ideas that I don’t understand or give a shit about. And when shit hits the fan, you wait it out and then you keep going.”

“Maybe that’s not a good thing. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“Too much info about your kinks.”

They share a smile. He missed her, missed his family. Even when surrounded by friends, Silicon Valley can feel so lonely sometimes. (Especially when you fucked things up with The One.)

“Why haven’t you tried to fix it this time? You don’t think he’s worth it?”

“Oh no, fuck no. He’s worth it. He’s worth everything. I just…I don’t know if _I’m_ worth it.”

Bobbie made a thinking noise, then turned to lay on her side facing him.

“Okay, then Step 1 of Bobbie’s Awesome Plan To Get Her Favorite Brother Back Together With The Love of His Life So He Can Stop Moping and We Can Finally Use Those Pinterest Wedding Ideas, also known as B.A.P.T.G.H.F.B.B.T.W.T.L.O.H.L.S.H.C.S.M.A.W.C.F.U.T.P.W.I., is to get you to recognize your own worth.”

“Aww Bobbie, I’m your favorite brother?”

“Yeah.” She paused for a second. “Don’t tell Jackson.”

•••

Richard helped his dad prepare dinner that night, but he wasn’t that big of a help. And not just because his kitchen skills were generally abysmal, but also because Bobbie was distracting him by texting him links to articles about himself every two minutes. Plus, there was the matter of having his nephews holding on to his legs the entire time. In between chopping up vegetables he paused to send Bobbie a quick text back, even though she was only two rooms over. It seemed like she liked the secret aspect of B.A.P.T.G.H.F.B.B.T.W.T.L.O.H.L.S.H.C.S.M.A.W.C.F.U.T.P.W.I. Richard made a mental note to tell her husband to be more interesting because she was clearly bored as fuck with life.

 **From: Richie**  
Yeah so I made a thing. How does this make me have worth?

 **From: Bobbie  
** You mean besides the literal cash value?

 **From: Richie  
** omg

 **From: Bobbie  
** Look kid, everyone says they’re making the world a better place but you’re actually doing it!!  

 **From: Richie**  
Eh

There’s radio silence for awhile, which was actually kind of nice. He didn't have to think about himself, or think about the fact that Jared was in the next room talking with his whole family while, thankfully, going along with the lie. He didn't have to think about how much his back was going to hurt in the morning after sleeping on the ground. But then his phone buzzed again. He sighed, pulled it out, and frowned at his phone.

His sister was sending him images that he immediately recognized from his high school yearbooks. After the first wave of annoyance that she’s in his room passed, he stopped to read the messages. The first seemed like a random pick, but by the third one he got the message she was trying to send.

**From: Richie**  
Bobbie…I’m not like that anymore

 **From: Bobbie**  
Yeah you are. You just had to change for work. But that’s still you.

Richard was about to contest this, but then she sent a text again.

 **From: Bobbie**  
I mean you want to help so much that you’re trying to cook, which you’re so bad at, because nobody else is helping Dad. And you have my kids on your fucking legs but you never kick them off or tell them to stop.

Touché. He paused to listen in to their whispered conversations. They were talking about Steven Universe; Richard made a mental note to talk about it with them later. By the time he was done thinking about how cute his nephews were he had another text.

 **From: Bobbie**  
You’re a helper. You have a good heart.

 **From: Richard**  
Okay so I’m not always a piece of shit, I just play one on TV. How does this help me with Jared?

 **From: Bobbie**  
Do you still feel like he’s so good and you’re so bad that if you touched him you would taint him forever with your awfulness

 **From: Richard**  
omg did you find my high school diary up there, too?

 **From: Bobbie**  
Maybe. Look, I’ll help you with Jared. Trust me!

 **From: Richard**  
I don’t.

 **From: Bobbie**  
Who’s the married one with kids and who’s the lonely, sad man

Touché.

•••

Just as Richard feared, Bobbie was the least subtle person in the universe.

“So Jared, did you ever hear how Richard and Nelson became friends?”

Richard’s knife scraped loudly against his plate.

“That’s…boring, Bobbie. He doesn’t care–“

“Boring? This story is so cute!” Jackson said, reaching across the table to try and grab Richard’s cheek. He frowned and flicked Jackson’s hand away, but Grace, who was sitting to his left, just reached over and did it herself.

“Okay so this may be hard to believe but Richard was kind of cool in high school,” Shelby explained. “He had the most MySpace friends, his MySpace profile looked the best because he knew TMIL–“

“HTML.”

“Yeah, that, and SSS–“

“CSS.”

“–Yeah, he knew all that nerdy stuff,” Jackson interjected and took over the story from there. “And he had good taste in music. He was kind of a…what was that word for it? With the red and black striped and the skinny jeans and the bad hair?”

“Scene kid,” Bobbie added in, not helpfully at all.

“Yeah, he was that! It was so cute.”

Richard was ready to stab himself just to get out of this conversation, but to his surprise Jared was smiling and it didn’t look fake at all. “So I’m gathering that MySpace was a huge part of the Tulsa social scene.”

“Oh yeah. You needed a hot MySpace profile to be cool, and Richard’s was kind of the best. Weird, huh,” Harper explained.

“Not so weird. I always though Richard was cool,” Jared said. Richard’s face was burning, from a mixture of embarrassment and hope. Jared continued, “So where does Big Head come in?”

“That poor boy and how they made fun of him,” Richard’s mom interjected. “Yes, before he worked out his head and hair made him look a little…Bobble Head-like, but that’s no reason to create a nickname out of it.”

“Dear, I think the nickname is a play on his last name. Bighetti, Big Head-y, Big Head,” Richard’s dad explained kindly. The whole table held in their laughter, but only just.

“Oh, I suppose that makes more sense…but then why did they tease him?”

“It was just because his family didn’t have a lot of money,” Richard explained. “It was high school, Mom. You can get made fun of for anything.”

“Which Richard found out first-hand,” Bobbie pointed out, picking up the thread of the conversation. “Nelson joined his computer club, and they became friends. He lost his school reputation when they started hanging out, but he didn’t care because he had his best friend.”

Jared made a vague noise, a little too high for his normal register. Richard flinched; from just that sound he could already tell that the story didn’t have the desired effect of making Jared fall in love with Richard’s altruism.

“Well,” Jared said slowly. “It’s lovely to hear a story of a time when Richard wasn’t afraid to love someone openly.”

Nobody except Richard or Bobbie seemed to pick up on the subtext of this sentence (or if they did they didn’t show it), and the conversation moved on. Richard couldn’t eat any more after that, and Bobbie kept shooting him looks of apology. It wasn’t her fault; she wasn’t the one who messed up, ultimately.

•••

“Was the Big Head story true?”

Richard had been so close to sleep, finally, after an hour and a half of lying on the ground and trying to imagine himself in a comfortable bed. He opened one eye, peeked at his bed where Jared was laying down. Like last time, his feet were dangling over the end of the bed, and just like last time it was endlessly endearing.

“Yeah,” Richard whispered. “I mean they might have overstated how cool people thought I was. I was alright. Enough people liked me.”

“But did you really lose it all?”

“Kind of. I mean, after that it was just me and Big Head. People called us names, thought we were dating, which we weren’t. I got a lot of hate messages through MySpace after that.”

“So did that experience…did it make you more cautious to be open and honest about your feelings?”

Richard hadn’t thought about it that way. “Yeah, I guess it did. I thought maybe it was California that changed me but now that you mention it…yeah, I guess that taught me that people can be real assholes for no reason, and that it sucks.”

“Yeah.” Jared was quiet for a long while, so long in fact that Richard thought he had fallen asleep. But then he spoke quietly, “I still don’t forgive you, Richard. Not fully. But I am starting to understand you.”

Maybe B.A.P.T.G.H.F.B.B.T.W.T.L.O.H.L.S.H.C.S.M.A.W.C.F.U.T.P.W.I. was working after all.

Richard was quiet for a long while before he whispered very quietly, “thank you, Jared.” After another long while, long enough that Richard was sure Jared must be asleep, he whispered out loud, “I miss you so much. I never stopped loving you.”

•••

Jared wasn’t, in fact, asleep.

•••

The next day was Thanksgiving, which mean that, unless Richard just didn’t sleep at all, he would be waking up to delicious smells. His father started early, usually around 4:00 A.M. Richard always found this a little extreme, but he wasn’t the one cooking for fifteen people.

Tradition meant that he would be getting up vaguely early, around 7:00 A.M. to get in the kitchen and help whatever way he could. This usually meant mashing up potatoes, cutting things and doing other easy, menial tasks, but it was still such a great experience to be assisting a professional cook. Plus, it let him be closer to the food, where he could enjoy the aromas. Sure, he was often kicked out after only a few hours to help distract his nephews, but it was a fun tradition nonetheless.

That morning when he woke up, back creaking before he even moved, he noticed that Jared wasn’t in the room. Weird. He did a quick job of washing his face and brushing his teeth before tip-toeing down the stairs and into the kitchen.

He shouldn’t have been surprised, but there was Jared, helping in the kitchen and being charming with his dad. Of course.

He walked into the kitchen very slowly, a sheepish smile still on his face.

“Richie!” his dad exclaimed. “Just in time. Your boyfriend here has the potatoes peeled, and could use some help with the rest.”

“Oh,” both Richard and Jared said at the same time.

“I didn’t mean to overstep–“

“I can leave if you want and just let Jared help–“

“Nonsense!” Richard’s dad laughed. “You can both help me. I’m sure you do this at home all the time.”

Neither of them wanted to correct him, so they let it slide. Their kitchen rapport was poor, their communication dismal, but Richard’s dad was nice enough to not bring it up. They clumsily helped assemble a few dishes over the course of three hours before they were kicked out, a half-hearted excuse of “well, I’m sure you guys would rather be canoodling somewhere out of sight,” a great way to avoid saying “you keep spilling things and apologizing to one another and we’re wasting more food than we’re making this way.”

After exiting they stood and stared at one another for a few, frightening moments. Jared opened his mouth and was about to say something, but then the doorbell rang.

“Oh! Shit, I’ll get it,” Richard said, way too loudly. Jared nodded and turned away, grabbing a book and heading into the backyard. Richard opened the front door to find the smiling faces of the Bighetti family, Big Head included.

“Hey!” Richard exclaimed. “I didn’t know you guys were coming!”

“Well we couldn’t pass up such a sparkly invitation,” Mrs. Bighetti laughed. She kissed Richard on the cheek and her husband shook his hand, a move that Nelson then mirrored.

“Hey, dude. Are you bored out of your mind yet?” But then Nelson stopped, stifled a laugh, and pointed to the backyard. “Is that Jared Dunn?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Richard said, trying and failing to sound casual. “Yeah, yeah he’s uh, he’s here.”

“Oh, cool. Are you dating?”

Richard made a gurgling noise, then sighed. “Can we talk in my room?”

•••

“Wow, dude. Why didn’t you tell me all of that was happening?”

“I don’t know,” Richard said with a sigh. He was picking apart his old comforter again, trying to ignore that his bed smelled like Jared. “I just…it was a lot, and I don’t know, we were off-and-on business rivals so, you know.”

“Yeah,” Big Head said slowly. “But still, we’re best friends.”

“I should have told you,” Richard acquiesced. “You don’t think Re/code or Wired would have a fucking field day if they outed me?” Nelson shrugged in response.

“Maybe. Maybe not. It’s 2016, dude. People in tech care about how much money you’re going to make them, not what gender you like going down on.”

“Yeah. I guess…I guess I just worry too much.”

Big Head wanted to laugh, Richard could tell, but like the good friend he was he held it in.

“That’s true. You should try to win him back, man. You’re moping and smelling your pillow. Did he sleep in your bed last night?”

Richard quickly pushed the pillow off his bed. “I am not!”

“You totally are, dude,” Nelson said while laughing. “That’s so cute! I haven’t seen you this hung up since we were kids.”

“He’s different, man. He’s like…when we were together, I felt like we could do anything.”

“Anything except be open and honest about yourselves to the world, your friends, and the media.”

Richard blinked, grabbed the pillow from the ground, and hugged it to his chest.

“You have to give me at least this if you’re going to be, you know, actually honest with me.”

Nelson just smiled. He was a good friend.

•••

Nelson was a terrible friend.

“So, what’s up with you and Richard?”

Richard’s head snapped up. Nelson had left, saying he was just going downstairs for a glass of water, but Richard could distinctly hear his voice coming from the backyard. He ever-so-slowly raised the sill of his window so he could hear better and glanced down. Big Head was standing in front of Jared. He ever-so-quickly glanced up, caught Richard’s eye in the window and winked at him. That _fucker_.

“Oh! Hello, Big Head,” Jared said down below. “I guess Richard filled you in on what’s happening.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Do you know that you know more than most of his family?”

Nelson laughed, then bounced back and forth on his feet.

“Yeah. I guess the family really likes you, huh? That’s cool.”

“They’re great,” Jared said, a little more quietly than everything else. “I feel bad lying to most of them, but it’s…it’s kind of nice to be with a real family, you know? …I’m sorry, Nelson, you probably don’t want to hear my sob story.”

“No, no, it’s cool. You can tell me whatever you want, man.”

“Okay, well,” Jared said slowly. “I grew up in different foster homes, so some Thanksgivings were nice and some were…well, not-so-nice. But none like this. So I know it’s wrong to lie to them, but I like living the fantasy for once.”

“Oh no dude, don’t feel bad. They want you here real bad. They even said they would disown Richard if he didn’t bring you.”

Jared chuckled. “I didn’t see that part of the card. Richard must have hid it. That’s…that’s funny. But they probably wouldn’t have insisted if they knew we weren’t, well, you know.”

“I don’t know. I mean, Bobbie knows and she still wants you here.”

“True.” Jared paused. “Big Head, are you out here to try and talk Richard up so that I’ll get back together with him?”

“What? No. I wouldn’t even know how to do that. But if you wanted to tell me _how_ then I would do it, probably.”

Jared laughed again. Richard couldn’t help but feel a little jealous that somebody else was making Jared laugh more in five minutes than he had in months.

“I wouldn’t know how to, either. But it seems like you…are you… _okay_ with the idea that Richard and I ever were…?”

“Yeah, of course. Like, no question there. You guys are both weird but like…weird in complementary ways, you know? Like you’re pieces of a weird puzzle that’s actually really cool when it’s together.”

Jared laughed again, but this time it sounded bitter. “I…well, I guess that’s one way of looking at it. I never said we were like a puzzle, but I did say we were like that moment when you finally solve a Rubiks cube.”

“Oh, shit yeah. That works. That’s appropriately more nerdy.”

There was a silence from both of them before Big Head trudged along.

“Can I ask you something, Jared?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you still love him?”

“…yes, of course.”

“Then maybe you should try again. The cool thing about Rubik’s cubes is that they can be solved again.”

"...He still loves me."

"Duh."

"Can we really just start over? Is it really that simple?"

"No. Of course not. It's a Rubik's cube, and those are complicated as fuck. But like, it's worth it. You guys just need to talk and be honest and shit. That's, like, Relationship 101. Which is funny because it's so basic that everyone knows it, so, you know, don't feel bad. Your problems are things everyone deals with. So you can work through it."

There was a long silence, and then Richard watched as Big Head was enveloped in a tight hug.

Richard slowly lowered his window pane, then laid down again. He inhaled the pillow, which was starting to lose its Jared-scent. But there was a chance that he could be closer to the real thing soon, maybe. _Maybe_.

•••

Not at at once, but slowly, ever-so-slowly, things _progressed._

Mrs. Bighetti asked to say grace during dinner, and so even though the Hendricks family and Jared weren’t religious they all bowed their heads and held hands. Richard was certain that the experience couldn’t be pleasant for Jared; Richard’s palm was sweating, shaking, and cold, but for some reason Jared just squeezed it tighter. After the prayer was over he didn’t let go, even, and just held Richard’s hand under the table. Richard wasn’t sure if it was for show or for pleasure, but it was nice to be able to pretend for the moment that maybe they were in an alternate universe where he had the balls right off the plane back in July to proclaim to all of Silicon Valley: I love Jared Dunn.

They held hands several more times throughout the night, notably during the customary game of Charades and again when everyone sat outside around the fire pit to roast marshmallows and drink wine.

That night Jared told Richard that he should get in bed with him. Richard crawled in, slowly and shaking, and Jared just grabbed his hand once more.

“I’m not 100% ready to forgive you, yet,” Jared whispered. “I think we should talk.”

“Sure, Jared. What do you want to talk about?”

“Everything.”

•••

And so they did. They talked about their past, they talked about their first jobs. Favorite television shows, favorite colors, favorite music. They talked about their worst fashion looks throughout the years, about friends lost. They talked about ex’s, about celebrity crushes, about what they wanted their future weddings to be like, kid names they liked.

They talked about themselves. They shared their worst fears, in general and about relationships.

They talked about each other. They disclosed the myriad of things they loved about each other, they lamented time lost, they made promises to be more honest and open and less afraid.

“I was afraid that you would figure out that I’m not worth it and leave me,” Richard admitted.

“I was afraid that you would never love me as much as I love you,” Jared admitted.

•••

Eventually the sun came up, casting soft and beautiful shadows across each other’s faces. It was so lovely that they just had to kiss. First once, timidly, then again, again, again.

 

**Epilogue:**

“Oh, hey. When did you get in?”

“Erlich, Jared and I are dating.”

“…cool. So when did you get in? There’s a video I want to show you.”

“Jared and I are dating.”

“Yeah, I got that. Cool, have fun. If he moves in here he has to pay rent, too.”

“So you don’t care? You don’t want to, like, call every tech blog and let them know that Richard Hendricks is dating a dude?”

“Richard…you’re the biggest fucking idiot I know. Now come here, I have a video to show you. You’re gonna shit your pants laughing.”


End file.
